hand written .

you should have seen my handwriting right before i was diagnosed with Grave's Disease. it was so messy i could barely read it myself! i'm not going to share it though as that is contained within some private journaling pages. here is a recent sample, much neater. i do tend to handwrite with proper grammar, i think. 

you may need to click on it and zoom in if you actually want to read it. but it's just random thoughts about the cold and comforting things and the sky anyway. you know what, i will type out everything below it, how about that?

I tend to stay indoors this time of year. Living in new york state all my life has me cold even with layers on for 7 out of 12 months. They always encourage you to go outside to get some fresh air at least once a day. I would rather wait until it gets above 45 degrees.

Here I sit in my natural habitat (my bedroom) with a blanket over me and the furnace on. Very comfy, almost warm enough. The salt lamp and burning candle on the dresser creating a calming and cozy atmosphere. There is usually a cat in here with me but today I am without. After last night's cuddle session I think he has had enough of me for now.

There is so much that I love about the sky. I love watching the clouds in the morning before the sun is out. I love the pink swirls. I love when the sun creates rays of light in my windows and rainbows land on my floors from the stickers I have stuck on the glass. I love teh sky at night and the stars and how when you spot one you start to see them all as your eyes adjust. And when the moon tries to hide behind the clouds. 

welcome to pearls & meadows

i'm not sure yet where i'm going with this...

i guess i needed a new place to start. a place to create and gather my thoughts. a place to be real and raw.

so many times i wanted to make a new blog. i had one a few years ago that was very private but very dark. i was deep (again) in my eating disorder and hatred toward myself. these days i'm dealing with some other stuff, which i will eventually get into, i'm sure.

what inspired me to create this one was, well, a few things. the first was listening to a recent podcast by Gala Darling where she talked about livejournal and how she missed the days when everyone had their own blog or website or some corner of the internet that wasn't facebook. and the second was reading a book by SARK called "Thirsty Pens, Juicy Paper," and being head-over-heals inspired to write again.

having this re-discovered urge inside me to start over and write and write and love the process (we shall see how this goes, i'm a little nervous), i decided to go for it and create my own space, over here in this little corner, where pearls & meadows will reside.

a few things you should know about me before you continue reading my blog: 1. i rarely use proper grammar. i know *how* to type properly. i can write proper sentences and such. i just don't feel like it. i'm lazy. especially if i'm on my phone. so i just got used to typing like this. not sorry if this bothers anyone. you may also find other typos here and there. again, i'm lazy, and probably won't be using too much editing. this isn't exactly a professional blog! 2. this may get dark. and that's it. this may get dark.

enjoy ;)